My mom and I decided to start a blog, as you can plainly see. What you may not be able to see from a cursory glance is that our family is hurting right now. The smiles that prevail throughout every situation in our family are from the strength that comes from faith. My dad was diagnosed with cancer last week, and after that we decided to share our experience to encourage other families to trust in God during difficult times in life. My mom also said she wanted to remember what it felt like during the difficult days... I'm not sure if this was because my great-grandmother, also a pastor's wife like my mom, wrote everything down, or if it stems from a desire to tap back into this empathy at a later date. I know, for me, its a little of both.
Perhaps I put off creating this blog until this week in the hope that it was in God's plan to heal my father before his first appointment at the James Cancer Center this week. After a misdiagnosed tumor on his tongue finally led him to the doctor yet another time last week, we were informed that the cancer was very serious. This week, after prayers poured out to heaven from our friends across the country, we were devastated to hear that dad would require an eight our surgery scheduled for this coming Friday. Of course, this must all be part of a grander plan that we cannot see or understand, but it is difficult during this time to take solace in that limited understanding.
One thing that prompted me to begin this blog today is because of my dad's strength through all this turmoil. My dad has always had perfect hair. As a kid growing up there were two things about my dad that I remember. One was that he sang in every circumstance and the lyrics were always relevant to the situation. The second was that you did NOT touch his immaculate hair. He cut all that perfect hair today. He gave the barber twice what he owed him and told him it was because he wouldn't be needing a haircut for awhile. While this made me very proud to be his daughter, it also made me break down for a good half hour. Mourning the loss of hair may seem silly, but I'm sure there are other people who can relate to a similar circumstance when someone they loved has went through an illness. Its the little things that get me upset, and perhaps that's the way it always is or maybe I'm just odd *smile*.
I talked to my dad yesterday, and while he was in good spirits he was very weak. I feel so terrible that I am in Arkansas and he's in Ohio. I'm sure you're wondering why I'm not there with him. I'm at law school right now and I have a class that ends next week. He told me to stay here and finish that evidence class. I'm going up to stay for several weeks with my mom after the hype has died down and the rest of the family will have to make their way back to their homes, jobs... life. Its hard to imagine how much life will stop for my parents for awhile. The sound of my dad's singing won't be heard for a little while, but I keep thinking that once he comes through this trial that he will be just as Job, more blessed than before (I'm just hoping a house doesn't fall on me and my brother in the process). Anyway, that song that he will sing after he is rehabilitated will be even more beautiful than before. Maybe in the process we can reach out to people who are also hurting and encourage them to sing a new song as well.
I will sing a new song to you, my God; on the ten-stringed lyre I will make music to you, to the One who gives victory to kings, who delivers his servant David. From the deadly sword deliver me. Psalm 144: 9-11.
Thank you for talking with us. We are very invested, and every bit of news is important - about your dad, about you, about your mom and brother....We are also waiting for when you need us. We'll be here. No rush, we're not going away. We're with you for the long haul. Love, Ann
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